Shameless Media
Advice Columns
Shameless Media | 2024-2025 | Newsletter column
As a writer for Shameless Media, Abbir contributes to its flagship newsletter, which reaches tens of thousands of subscribers each week. She writes advice columns with a distinct, conversational tone that aligns with the brand’s loyal audience.
How do I stay a supportive friend without losing myself in their wedding whirlwinds? I’m constantly celebrating their wins, and I feel like I don’t have any wins for them to celebrate. How do I deal with this feeling of being unintentionally patronised? Am I the drama? HELP.
I’ve harboured quite a bit of resentment over things that happened in our friendship where she wasn’t the best person to me, or the people around her. I was already feeling iffy about our friendship, so it felt like the last nail went into the coffin after I learnt she was sleeping with someone who is married (which she knows about).
‘Photos of his ex are still on his socials’
He said he would delete them if I asked him to. The thing is, he has photos of just his ex – not with him or in a group of people – and I find this disrespectful. Am I overthinking it? I don’t want to ask this of him; I want him to be himself, and if this is a true indication of his character, then... Please comment, please help.
‘Should I go on a trip with my ex?’
This may seem shallow, but I feel upset when I think about the fact that he may not want to be affectionate or intimate with me while we’re away. So do I accept that this won’t be healthy for me and forfeit my ticket? Or do I make the most of this last experience together before we part ways for good?
‘My ex-work situationship has moved on’
Do I have the right to be annoyed? I know we said we wouldn’t wait around for each other, and I honestly don’t care about the thought of him hooking up with random girls I don’t know, but I just feel really uncomfortable that I’m in the middle of this dynamic at work now. I really didn’t expect that plot twist.
‘How do I get over my fear of abandonment?’
I have an anxious attachment style (shock horror). I look into every action, detail, and text message. If he responds with anything but overwhelming positivity and love, I am convinced it’s over. I constantly have to ‘talk myself off the ledge’ and not self-sabotage by downloading Hinge or breaking up with him entirely. I don’t want to do either of those things!